On the first day
of Christmas, my kitten ruined for me...
A batch of my special hand-print cookies.
I had turned my
back to grab the cookie sheet sitting on the stove. In that micro-second, Holly
climbed onto the table, poked her paw into the delightfully kneady mixture and,
suddenly off-balance, fell into the cookie dough. Net loss? Six cups of flour,
four cups of sugar, three slabs of butter.... Of course, it would have been
cheaper to remove the feline ingredient, pick out the hairs, and just rename
the recipe Paw Print Cookies.
On the second day of Christmas, my kitten accompanied me....
On a trip to our local veterinary surgery.
On the second day of Christmas, my kitten accompanied me....
On a trip to our local veterinary surgery.
Who knew that
skinny curling ribbon has feline taste appeal? I didn't. Damages: £25 for the vet’s
trip, £36 for anaesthesia so the veterinary surgeon could take £55 worth of x-rays
in case Holly had taste-tested any other Christmas decorations, and… a heck of
a lot of embarrassment when the vet removed the 3' curly ‘tail’ in slightly
less than two seconds by tugging at it with a pair of tweezers.
On the third day of Christmas, my kitten wrecked for me...
13 ornaments on my Christmas tree.
On the third day of Christmas, my kitten wrecked for me...
13 ornaments on my Christmas tree.
My mistake was
forgetting to chain the decorations to the branches. My other error was leaving
the room to go to the bathroom while Holly feigned sleeping under the tree. How
was I to know the kitten was actually measuring its’ climbing potential? Value
of broken bulbs? £17.50 plus vat.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my kitten broke for me...
A statue in my Nativity.
A statue in my Nativity.
Would you
believe now we only have two Wise men plus a headless fella? Nativity figurine:
£55.99
On the fifth day of Christmas, my kitten scratched for me...
The kid across the street who collects for charity.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my kitten scratched for me...
The kid across the street who collects for charity.
It was an accident. She merely wanted to reach
out and touch someone. Unfortunately, she used a unsheathed claw to do so. I
settled out-of-court for the cost of a jacket to replace the boy's blood-stained
one, and made a hefty donation to the charity of their choice. Although the
amount must remain secret according to our settlement, let me put it this way.
Think: Major Windfall!
On the sixth day of Christmas, my kitten opened for me...
The presents beneath my Christmas tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my kitten opened for me...
The presents beneath my Christmas tree.
It was only two,
really. While doing some early shopping at a well-known discount store, I
purchased a catnip mouse for Holly's stocking. Apparently, anything in the same
bag as catnip takes on its potent aroma for a very long time. Replacement
costs: £3.99 for another roll of Christmas wrapping paper, £4.50 for two empty
boxes, £1 each, for the kind of bows Holly can't unravel.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my kitten lost for me...
The earrings I bought for my sister Mary.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my kitten lost for me...
The earrings I bought for my sister Mary.
Actually, it was
one earring but since Mary doesn't have a hole in her nose or navel, a pair of
matching earrings does make a more appealing gift. Sale price: £29.95 plus vat.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my kitten helped me...
Replace my E and G guitar strings.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my kitten helped me...
Replace my E and G guitar strings.
Would you
believe a kitten could fit into the itty-bitty hole in the middle of my Yamaha
guitar? Neither could I, but Holly thought so. And she succeeded once she got
those rascally strings out of the way. Unfortunately, her little rear end
couldn't get out the way she came in. After paying through the whiskers for her
previous escapades, I would have been willing to leave her in the guitar for
the duration of the holiday season, except that she chose to get stuck two
hours before I was due at the nursing home for our annual Christmas carol
sing-a-long. Set of steel guitar strings: £12.95; jar of petroleum jelly: £1.20.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my kitten destroyed for me...
My Christmas card list when she walked across my computer's delete key.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my kitten destroyed for me...
My Christmas card list when she walked across my computer's delete key.
Cost for call to
Computer Country's 0800/help line: £17.50. And I still don't know what happened
to the listings of B through H.
On the tenth day of Christmas, my kitten hid from me.....
The remote control from my 13-inch TV.
On the tenth day of Christmas, my kitten hid from me.....
The remote control from my 13-inch TV.
This wouldn't be
such a disaster if she hadn't previously stolen the power knob. I missed a
week's worth of Christmas specials, including my all-time favourite, "It's
a Wonderful Life." Rental of "It's a Wonderful Life": £5;
purchase of book, "Good owners, great cats": £24.95. Unfortunately,
it doesn’t even mention the
psychological profile of kittens with kleptomania.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my kitten ate for me.....
The drumsticks off my 19-pound turkey.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my kitten ate for me.....
The drumsticks off my 19-pound turkey.
OK, OK, So this
one time it was my fault. I knew I never should have uttered those now infamous
words: "Your first turkey, Holly. Want to try just a little piece?"
Cost: Christmas Dinner.
On the twelfth day of Christmas........
Holly rested.
On the twelfth day of Christmas........
Holly rested.
And so, thank
goodness, did my VISA card.
